Relationship in a Suitcase

"Go, have a steamy affair with some Latin lover who spends his free time thinking up new bedroom positions instead of trading positions."

I came across one of the humorous DABA posts on relationships with what seems to be an extinct specie these days - an investment banker and could not help but wonder how were they able to maintain their affairs outside the 100 hour work week?

If bankers could do it, consultants could definitely pull it off. Relationships in consulting usually fall into a few categories:

- gypsies: several things are going on in several cities. Broken hearts, broken promises over shaken not stirred martinis. It's fun when you work in a fabulous city somewhere in South America; not so very applicable when you consult in the sands of the Middle East. Or a small American town.

- settlers: dating within the same company or even the same project team (gets tricky).

- wedded: married, engaged, soon to be married. Typical statement - I cant travel because my significant other threatened to leave twice within past week. I cant attend the meetings because my child number five is sick.

- forbidden fruits: those who would spend time just with any alpha male, ignoring a ring on the left hand. Becomes the most intricate relationship when one of the parties gets carried away.

It's hard to maintain a somewhat normal life when you become a voyager. It is even harder to date someone who doesn't share your passion for adventures in a suitcase.

Adventures in the Snow Land

Consulting does not always mean glamorous trips to the world known cities on a client's expense. No one ever mentions this part during the interview and none of the consulting sites or blogs talk about MiddleOfNowhere, USA.

These days most companies are happy to get a client and assign their staff to a billable project. Not much to choose from.

As I was trying to find my soon to be Monday-Thursday office in Fayetteville, AR through Google Earth, I realized I was not alone. Half of the passengers on a small AA flight were consultants from the "big five" heading to the same area to work with Walmart. They kept talking about their past projects in Chicago, NYC, Boston, etc....

Working in a small town with a small company usually means to forget your big city mentality, change your paste (to a slower) and adapt to the fact that Marriott Courtyard is the best lodging option. I felt lucky when I discovered that the only Starbucks in town is on my way to the office.

Don't forget to watch football every Sunday. Weather and sports are good conversation starters and ice breakers the closer it gets to the South. Or in any small town.

In a family oriented community forget about partying and socializing. Everything pretty much shuts down around 9 PM or even earlier when an unexpected snow storm visits the town covering it with ice.

Driving becomes a hidden talent you suddenly discover while sliding your way to the airport... just to find out your flight is five hours delayed.

New Year Resolutions

"You are not yourself ever since you came back from Europe", - said the client's Managing Director.

"You don't seem inspired any more. Your meetings are monotonous as if you are physically present in a conference room, but your mind is somewhere else. What's going on?"

And I used to think I was good in pretending.

The MD was right - I stopped caring. I lost my passion and my drive. Because I no longer saw a point. The reason was my trip to Europe.

I usually plan my "new year resolutions" while I am in Europe that I visit every year. I evaluate my past, my present, and set new goals for the future. I stress when I don't meet my own expectations and not reach set by myself peaks.

Needless to say, 2008 was rather a rough year for most of us. Everything that could go wrong did, including the economy and its global meltdown. While many were losing their jobs, I should have felt lucky I was promoted.

Yet, I focused on the negatives. On what I did not have, did not achieve, did not accomplish.

"Don't lose your vision. Don't stop dreaming. It is what keeps one moving when things turn into a total disaster. Think of the end of your last project with us. You pulled it through because you believed in its success, " - finished our conversation the MD.

Before midnight, right on the intersection of the old and new years, I've decided to take a different approach and think about my accomplishments, the path I've traveled, and who I've become. Instead of focusing on the negatives, I listed the positives, and lessons learned from the mistakes I've made.

I suddenly felt inspired!

So, set your goals, think of the next year, next project, next day. Keep dreaming and aiming high! You are your own person and even if a road you travel is not always straight - it makes it interesting to walk on. It makes you look forward to tomorrow and reach the unreachable.