Relationship in a Suitcase

"Go, have a steamy affair with some Latin lover who spends his free time thinking up new bedroom positions instead of trading positions."

I came across one of the humorous DABA posts on relationships with what seems to be an extinct specie these days - an investment banker and could not help but wonder how were they able to maintain their affairs outside the 100 hour work week?

If bankers could do it, consultants could definitely pull it off. Relationships in consulting usually fall into a few categories:

- gypsies: several things are going on in several cities. Broken hearts, broken promises over shaken not stirred martinis. It's fun when you work in a fabulous city somewhere in South America; not so very applicable when you consult in the sands of the Middle East. Or a small American town.

- settlers: dating within the same company or even the same project team (gets tricky).

- wedded: married, engaged, soon to be married. Typical statement - I cant travel because my significant other threatened to leave twice within past week. I cant attend the meetings because my child number five is sick.

- forbidden fruits: those who would spend time just with any alpha male, ignoring a ring on the left hand. Becomes the most intricate relationship when one of the parties gets carried away.

It's hard to maintain a somewhat normal life when you become a voyager. It is even harder to date someone who doesn't share your passion for adventures in a suitcase.

Adventures in the Snow Land

Consulting does not always mean glamorous trips to the world known cities on a client's expense. No one ever mentions this part during the interview and none of the consulting sites or blogs talk about MiddleOfNowhere, USA.

These days most companies are happy to get a client and assign their staff to a billable project. Not much to choose from.

As I was trying to find my soon to be Monday-Thursday office in Fayetteville, AR through Google Earth, I realized I was not alone. Half of the passengers on a small AA flight were consultants from the "big five" heading to the same area to work with Walmart. They kept talking about their past projects in Chicago, NYC, Boston, etc....

Working in a small town with a small company usually means to forget your big city mentality, change your paste (to a slower) and adapt to the fact that Marriott Courtyard is the best lodging option. I felt lucky when I discovered that the only Starbucks in town is on my way to the office.

Don't forget to watch football every Sunday. Weather and sports are good conversation starters and ice breakers the closer it gets to the South. Or in any small town.

In a family oriented community forget about partying and socializing. Everything pretty much shuts down around 9 PM or even earlier when an unexpected snow storm visits the town covering it with ice.

Driving becomes a hidden talent you suddenly discover while sliding your way to the airport... just to find out your flight is five hours delayed.

New Year Resolutions

"You are not yourself ever since you came back from Europe", - said the client's Managing Director.

"You don't seem inspired any more. Your meetings are monotonous as if you are physically present in a conference room, but your mind is somewhere else. What's going on?"

And I used to think I was good in pretending.

The MD was right - I stopped caring. I lost my passion and my drive. Because I no longer saw a point. The reason was my trip to Europe.

I usually plan my "new year resolutions" while I am in Europe that I visit every year. I evaluate my past, my present, and set new goals for the future. I stress when I don't meet my own expectations and not reach set by myself peaks.

Needless to say, 2008 was rather a rough year for most of us. Everything that could go wrong did, including the economy and its global meltdown. While many were losing their jobs, I should have felt lucky I was promoted.

Yet, I focused on the negatives. On what I did not have, did not achieve, did not accomplish.

"Don't lose your vision. Don't stop dreaming. It is what keeps one moving when things turn into a total disaster. Think of the end of your last project with us. You pulled it through because you believed in its success, " - finished our conversation the MD.

Before midnight, right on the intersection of the old and new years, I've decided to take a different approach and think about my accomplishments, the path I've traveled, and who I've become. Instead of focusing on the negatives, I listed the positives, and lessons learned from the mistakes I've made.

I suddenly felt inspired!

So, set your goals, think of the next year, next project, next day. Keep dreaming and aiming high! You are your own person and even if a road you travel is not always straight - it makes it interesting to walk on. It makes you look forward to tomorrow and reach the unreachable.

Christmas Spree

Have you done your Christmas shopping yet? Well, the prices are rather amazing this year, given the state of economy.

As holidays approach, my ultimate gift question arises - what should I buy? It's one thing to shop for friends and family where I can let my creativity shine. It becomes difficult to shop for co-workers, teammates, and especially clients.

What is an appropriate, fun, yet ethical gift? My friends in the financial sector tend to disagree with me and last year their gift bags included goodies from Hermes and places as such. I am more on a conservative side and prefer to give gift baskets composed of items from all over the world (Belgian chocolate, Italian coffee, etc.), good wine, and of course boring but favorite gift cards from Starbucks. We all drink coffee, especially in the consulting world. Those who don't drink it, become addicts on their first 100 hour weeks project.

This year a few of my clients were interested in art and photography, so I got them books and photo-collages from their favorite art galleries in NYC.

In that Christmas spirit, I could not help but also get some treats for myself. Because of my hectic schedule and the fact that pre-holiday malls remind me of an airport during a hurricane season when all flights get canceled, I started shopping online.

Besides the traditional Neiman Marcus-like sites, I discovered a few online places that offer designer sample sales where a truly unique items can be purchased to add a twist to a boring business suit.

Sites such as Gilt Groupe, Rue La La , Editor's Closet sell items from Just Cavalli, Muse, Michael Kors, etc.

Gilt invite: http://www.gilt.com/invite/bachity

Happy Shopping!

Texting Your Way Through

We, consultants, practically live in a virtual world - emails, phone calls, text messages. Work around the clock and constant change of cities, hotels, suitcases does not leave much time for a face-to-face relationships with other people than our clients. So we use our creativity and maintain our long distance love lives via texts.

Who does have time for emails these days? I stop reading them after the fifth sentence.

Modern marvels of the cell phone technology created an easier way to express our feelings - through signs of smiley/sad faces, abbreviations OMG, TTL, and pictures sent via MMS.

Some of us, like my Bostonian friend, are able to even "date" over text messages communicating with several "significant others" all over the globe. A bartender she met in Colorado sends her kisses every morning; a surfer from California cheers her up with his careless hair and fit body in a surfing outfit; and of course a boyfriend in Europe who surrounds her with his eternal love.

How did we survive the dark ages when an iPhone was not an option? OMG, we actually had to face a person and express our mixed emotions of anger, happiness, tears, or joy. We had to tell our "sorries" and explain why we thought that breaking up is a better option than staying in this pointless relationship. We had to do many things.... that somehow now we forgot they had a meaning.

What is Dallas, TX like?

I have many stories to share about my euro trip, but first things first. Lately, I've been frequently asked about Dallas and what is the city like. I often say to each its own, and even though I have been living in Dallas for the past two years, I am not a big fan.

As every city, Dallas has its pros and cons. Life is definitely convenient here in terms of real estate and infrastructure. The city is trying to become cosmopolitan, so construction activities can be spotted everywhere. New areas are being developed in attempts to follow the northern style - West Village, Victory Park, Uptown, Travis Walk, etc.

Once a major IT hub, Dallas and its surrounding areas have been engaging in the medical, energy, finance, and real estate sectors. Texas weather creates a laid back atmosphere - seasons don't change much here - 2 weeks of winter, 2 weeks of spring, 2 week of autumn and hot, hell like in July-August, summer.

A few other points:

- typically, people do not walk in Dallas because of the long distances, so buying a car is mandatory. Most of the apartments come with a free parking spot.

- there is no state income tax, however, property tax is quite intense, especially for those who own assets in Dallas county.

- life is suburbia is extremely slow

- creative side of Dallas tends to be on a boring side. It seems to me that the city has got its brain, but its soul is still missing.

- there are plenty of restaurants here. The unique ones are usually located in the uptown/downtown area and other areas are stuffed with the chain eateries.

- what do people do for fun here? Eat, shop, watch football.

- a blog of a Canadian who is planning to move to Dallas:
Why I am moving to Dallas Texas

you want to get anywhere you want to go, you've got to do the same thing

Since I am getting ready to leave on my three week doing nothing spree in Europe, it's becoming almost impossible to focus at work. As a result, I spend more time reading blogs than talking to my clients.

I came across this article Why Goal Setting Makes You Cringe that talks about obstacles on the way to achieving your dreams. Most of us are familiar with an old cliche - sky is the limit. An ultimate question is how to overcome fear of failure and stop procrastinating? What does inspire and motivate us to reach the unreachable?

...Suddenly, my GMAT studying comes to mind...

I am not a good test taker. Add an attention deficit disorder to it and you immediately realize that getting an acceptable score is like hoping for current markets to stabilize in one day. Mix it with 10-12 hours of consulting work and extensive traveling and you get the full picture.

So, you can imagine - I was doomed to fail from the very beginning. But I had a vision. A dream. I was not willing to give up. I knew I could beat that damn test if I only study, practice, study more, practice more.

I kept reading articles, blogs, books; spoke to the world trying to solve my problems. Everyone gave a different advice - some scared me, some discouraged me, some were hopeful or unrealistic. I then approached it from the business perspective - I blocked the external noises and, based on gathered information, developed a strategy suitable only for my individual case, my personality, and my abilities.

Convincing myself that I don't have all my life ahead helped me to resist those sweet temptations constantly imposed by my friends during weekends. I knew I had to compromise, give certain habits up in order to gain more at the end.

100 cups of coffee and 10 cigarettes later, I surprised myself by accomplishing what months ago seemed so impossible. Now, I apply the same principle even at work. I always ask myself - what is the objective and how can I achieve it. If I really want to finish a project ahead of time, I know, I am capable. I might disappear from the face of the Earth, buried alive in the work load, but I will get things done.

At the end, it comes to how important your goal is to you. Dreams change, people change. It becomes difficult to evaluate whether something so important today will even matter next year. Assess and look at the big picture. Be realistic, as some dreams should remain in the dream land, while others should become reality.